• Juana

Check On Your Strong Friends: THEY ARE NOT OKAY!

The thing about strong people is the fact that they can be stubborn as hell! When you ask them what's wrong they say, "Nothing." When you ask them if they are they okay they say, "I'm good." Most times they say that to get you out of their faces because they want to be left alone. Once left alone, they drown themselves in misery or whatever pick of poison they have available. It may be alcohol. It may be drugs. It may be sex. It may be sleep. It may be self infliction. Whatever it may be, use your intuition to know THEY ARE NOT OKAY! Check on them often. It will be only a little amount of time before they lose their minds.

In my personal opinion, a strong friend is one who appears to have it all together. They normally don't have time or won't make time for themselves because they are too busy taking care of everybody else. They have a good heart and don't know how to say no. They make everybody's problems their problems. They feel the need to always have to fix things. Especially, when it doesn't concern them. They try to fight everyone's battles like they are superheroes. They are such big givers. However, when it's their turn to be in need NO ONE IS THERE FOR THEM! When it's their turn to be in need no one is there to pour into them, to give to them, to comfort them, to talk to them, to pray for them, to be what they were for other people.

When this happens they shut down and be to themselves. Then, a wall is built as a reminder to them to not expect what you give to be reciprocated. I know this because I've been that person. Sometimes, I still am that person. I've done more for people than I do for myself. Most times, it's out of love. I give, give, give, and people take, take, take. When it's my turn I hear crickets or excuses. A strong person was either taught or forced to be strong. They learned or were told not to show any emotions. They learned or were told not to cry because crying is a sign of weakness. In all actuality, crying is a cleansing. So, what do we strong people do? We bottle up all of our emotions and keep them in until we explode.

With that being said, CHECK ON YOUR FRIENDS! Some of you have been around your friends long enough to know and/or understand their mannerisms. Those of you who pay attention to your friends can tell if something is bothering them or if something is off with them. Their conversations, body languages, appearances, can be dead giveaways. Be there for them. Don't let them go off the deep end. Sometimes, we make the mistake in saying, "Oh, they're strong. The will be okay. There is nothing wrong with them. They're just going through some things, but they will come out of it." Guess what? Strong people don't always come out of it. We just know how to hide it well.

In conclusion, I plead with you to be the friend that you want someone to be to you. Check on your folks. Make sure that they are really alright. Lift them up. Motivate them. Let them know that you are there for them, and really be there for them. They may be battling with strong mental and emotional issues. Do a well check on them. If you have to pop up at their homes, POP UP! Some of them may curse you out, but some of them may be grateful. You popping up could've stopped them from doing harm to themselves or stopped them from doing something they would regret. You never know. Out of all of times those strong people have been there for you, you can't be there for them just once? Pay attention to the signs. Although they say they are YOUR STRONG FRIENDS ARE NOT ALWAYS OKAY!!!!

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